Backfire

We are trying to get ahead of schedule on the catalog (due to be finished by the third week of November). We fell a little bit behind, but then got mostly caught up last week. This week, we have been placed on what is called mandatory overtime—everyone works an extra hour a day.

For me, this means getting here at 7 a.m. (when it is still dark) and leaving at 4:30 p.m. I am supposed to pick my younger child up around 4:45, but this week, it has been more like 5:05. My day care provider is okay with that, for one week. My older child doesn't need to be picked up until 6 p.m., so that's not an issue.

Anywho, the point is: an extra hour of being at work does not (in my case) mean an extra hour of work. Although I haven't been doing much personal stuff at my desk (i.e. writing weblog entries, balancing my checkbook), I also haven't been slaving away on these pages.

I've been doing a lot of surfing and day dreaming. I tend to go here, or here, or even here, to be educated about the upcoming election (and in case I need facts to present to my in-laws).

Today, for example, I have been here about 2 hours. And I haven't managed to even start the spread I picked up at 7:15.

I am still doing up to five-six spreads a day (that's 10-12 pages), but I feel slow and inefficient. To say my mind is not 100% on my work would be an understatement. So I'm not sure how this extra hour is helping.

Maybe I just need an extra cup of coffee.

Graduation Day

As of 8 a.m. yesterday, I was no longer the New Girl.

A new writer started, and if memory serves (doubtful in the midst of these review pages) she will be overwhelmed with information in short order.

She is sitting in JD's old desk, so right over a cube wall from me. They changed the door (? door — how about opening) to her cube, so it faces a less busy hallway. When they did it, they made a lot of noise, which I wouldn't have minded so much if they had bothered to pop over and say, "Hey, we're going to be making a lot of noise over here for a while." I mean, it's just common courtesy.

To add to New Girl's confusion, we're in the middle of a catalog (I started right after the book had dropped, and it was a slow period until the Web Project from Hell); it was a Food Day (don't ask); and we played a Wii at noon.

Now I had never touched a Wii in my life (Weird Guy loves when I say that), and I got roped in. While I would rather have sat quietly in my cube paying bills during lunch, I did play a shooting game and skee ball. I was pretty bad at both, thank you very much. At least I have an idea of what a Wii is, though. In a couple of years, unless they come up with something else (and they will), my kids will be asking for one. I should start practicing now.

RANT

We're working on our 600+-page catalog. As we attempt to move more toward a web-based sales entity, the catalog has, appropriately, been shrinking. (Have a mentioned we're a technology company, one of the largest in the world? And I still do my timesheets on paper??)

Anywho, as a result of shrinking the catalog, product presentations have been slashed and burned, and nowhere moreso in the product line I inherited from JD. We'll call it the ABC product line. Products have been combined mercilessly; there is one presentation where we are shoe-horning six pages into two.

The designer I am partnered with for the ABC section, the Quiet Guy, has been doing an awesome job. We have done as much as we possibly can to make these product presentations lean and mean. We are using icons; editing text to the minimum; deleting redundant text or tech specs; shrinking pictures.

Most of the team has worked very, very hard on this. It has been confusing, frustrating, and time-consuming. But we have done a hell of a job.

The pages went down the hall for review (to clarify: "down the hall" means "to the product managers/marketing department"; down the hall is supposed to review the pages for typos, accuracy, cross-sells, etc.). The pages finally started coming back on Friday.

And they are a fucking mess.

The lead product manager -- we'll refer to him as Italian Stallion, or IS -- on the ABC line is an idiot. Even Quiet Guy says so. IS has decided that he wants all the pages to be consistent. Which means he wants a "what's included" box (WIB) on each product presentation.

I pretty much hit the roof on Friday when I saw these pages. I knew they were going to be bad because of how much we had to cut and squeeze and edit and so on. I knew there would be mistakes and oversights. But I didn't imagine we would have to find another two inches of space on every presentation to fit in a fucking WIB. Plus an additional bullet point or two. And tech specs.

Quiet Guy went to bat. He looked at all the pages and decided where we absolutely could not fit those boxes. He went to the lead designer and Our Boss, and drew his lines. He said he would do the best he could on the rest of the pages, but these pages and presentations could not have WIBs. Period.

And we won that battle.

There are still a lot of WIBs to do. I have to track down what is actually included, and put them in the boxes. Again: tedious, time-consuming work.

We are only about one-third of the way through, after two days. More pages will be coming back from review. The pages that we are changing have to go back down the hall.

And in the midst of all this, they want to pull me onto another project, a rebranding for one of our partner businesses. This is especially frustrating because the marketing director, Egghead, is "giving us direction" on the rebranding. This means that Egghead, who is a bigger idiot than IS -- possibly he is the biggest idiot down the hall -- has decided how we are going to design and write the rebranding materials. Even though Egghead is not a writer or a designer (and believe me, it shows). This means that I will spend time writing wonderful, engaging copy, and the Young Guy will do a really cool design, and Egghead will look at everything and change it back to his original crap. Talk about a waste of time! AND it will suck.

Manic (NOT) Monday

I have having a very difficult time focussing on work, at work, today.

Part of it is probably that it is Monday.
Part of it is that I have a product to write about, and if it is not the most boring product to write about (barring cables) then I don't want to see what the most boring product looks like.
Part of it is that there are other things I would like to be writing about.
Part of it is that there are other things I would like to be reading about (i.e. my NFL team's impressive Week 1 victory yesterday, the political news -- such as it is, blogs I like to catch up and comment on).

I'm usually a pretty good self-starter, and pretty disciplined. But I am just not on it today. My mind is wandering; I am looking a these tech specs as if they are written in Chinese; and I just want to be miles away from here getting real stuff (i.e. housework) done. Because the weekend was busy, and I didn't get anything accomplished at home. Or I keep glancing at the clock, and lamenting how much longer I have until lunchtime -- and I don't even like the food my cafe serves.

I wonder how Monday stacks up on the productivity scale. Higher or lower than Friday? I am better on Friday, I think. I am motivated to get done everything on my desk and not leave anything hanging.

I may leave this product hanging until Wednesday at the rate I am going.

The Emails are a Prime Distraction, Thank You

Last week was all about my coworkers and former employees getting in a tizzy regarding the Republican's VP pick. See, there is this email distribution list that I was kindly (used loosely) included upon, and the subject is generally political in nature. And everyone on the list is pretty much a raging liberal (I am, if I may be so bold, a conservative liberal). So the entertainment points are pretty high, but it is difficult to actually work when my email in-box is pinging at me every other minute with someone else's snarky opinion/observation. (Believe me, I participated. I think I was less snarky and more, "Watch out! She is dangerous." But I'm sure I had my snarky moments.)

Then I got side-tracked into an email correspondence with a former employee that was fun, but a time-waster. And while I was answering her emails, I was fretting about what I should be doing instead, and also wondering about her job, and if it was just a slow day for her that she could just email this person she doesn't even know, but clearly wanted to chat with because something I had emailed had caught her attention. We compared notes on family, where we live, our jobs, and even exchanged pictures of our kids. And I would truly love to have lunch with her, because it seems we may be sympatico and all, but, dudette, I gotta work.

And Then There's Lunch

And all I really want to say is, it's a good thing I didn't say anything about the bone in Ray's sausage, because there is no way a sentence like that about one of your co-workers is going to come out right.

(They were serving kielbasa in the cafe, and either Ray of Sunshine chipped a tooth or found a bone in it, which fact alone almost made the vegetarian-me throw up in my mouth a little bit.)

A Few Choice Words

It's crazy around here, and I haven't been tending to this sanity-saving area. But it's finally Friday, and I would like to go into the three-day weekend with this:

"It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you've got."

"Balls to you, daddy."

"No, I don't want to battle
from beginning to end
don't want to cycle or recycle revenge;
I don't want to follow death and all of his friends."

These are a few of the lyrics I have been moved to write down on a post-it and stick to the tower of my CPU this past week. They are from Sheryl Crow, The Clash, and Coldplay, respectively. I also have one from KT Tunstall: "affection is yours if you ask; first you must take off your mask." But that doesn't seem to fit in the attitude I need for work these days. Home, yes; work, not so much.

Also, in case you were wondering, here's the story of my tagline. I bald-facedly stole it from John Cusack.

You're welcome.

One for the WTF Files

I am freaking out a little bit. Remember when I went through the run-down last week about who was here and who wasn't? Well, my co-worker who has pneumonia CAME TO WORK YESTERDAY. She proceeded to cough and hack her way through the day. I honestly expected to hear a loud gasp and thud as she finally succumbed to her inability to draw a full breath.

Who the F comes to work with pneumonia? Does she know if she is contagious? (I heard her hem and haw an answer to this question, which makes me think that she doesn't even know.) If pneumonia is something you get by inhaling infectious particles (either viral or bacterial particles) it would seem to me that, yes, there is a good chance you are contagious.

I am angry at my co-worker, and I hope she doesn't come in today or the rest of the week. I don't even care so much for myself as for my children. I have one starting school next week. It would kind of suck if she had to sit out for a month or so to get over something that mommy brought home from work. And what about my younger child?

It's not as if Odd Duck's job is in jeopardy. She was supposed to be on vacation this week anyway. Why would she come here? She's got almost 20 years; her product lines are solidly hers. What would make her drag herself to the office? She's clearly unwell. I don't think she's doing anyone any favors.

It's one thing to come to work with a cold. It's a completely different issue to come to work with a serious illness. Especially if you don't know if you're going to give it to others. (I'm not the only one in the department with young children.)

My Workplace is a Ghost Town

I don't know if it's the time of the year, or if JD is sticking pins in voodoo dolls (knock it off if you are, JD), but this place is a ghost town.

Quiet Guy is on vacation;
International Catalog took a day off;
Young Guy took today off;
Ray of Sunshine had to leave to take care of his wife, who fell and broke her wrist;
The Fat Lady is on vacation;
Odd Duck has pneumonia -- who knows when she'll be back?
Quiet Lady is on vacation;
Web Lady is on vacation.

We had to combine lunch tables today. Which was a fun change up, but I have done about 10 flow and edits today; Busy Writer has done two; and Senior Writer is still catching up from her vacation, plus doing some of Odd Duck's work.

I'm lighting some candles in church so no one else disappears over the weekend!

Be Careful What You Wish For

You know the rest.

It's been busy for me in Cubicleland. Odd Duck, a writer who's been here for 19 years, just got back today from her vacation. Senior Writer is still out, and her reviews are coming to me (which is kind of funny in a way). I've been pretty swamped as the only writer working on the catalog.

Here's the weird thing I'm having lately: Since JD left, I have to go in search of conversation that is not work-related. Leave my cube and go talk to another team member. (I will get a Cast of Characters up here to keep everyone sorted out.) Usually JD came in about an hour after me, stomped around his cube for awhile (JD was not a delicate guy. I winced sometimes when I heard him typing — I am almost sure I heard his keyboard breathe a sigh of relief when he left), and then we would go downstairs for strong coffee. Throughout the day, we would just chat through/over our cube wall.

Today, I've been here two-and-a-half hours, and aside from saying hello to one guy, and welcoming Odd Duck back from her vacation, I haven't really talked to anyone. I am contemplating my options as far as going off to have a non-work related conversation (NWRC) for a little bit.

Last Friday, I wandered into Weird Guy's cube for the NWRC. Weird Guy is okay, but, you know, weird. Sometimes his topics of conversation make me a little uncomfortable (not in a sexually harassed way); other times he makes me double over with laughter. I never know what I'm going to get. Last Friday, it was a bit about cheating on his wife with the lead singer of the Donnas (which he didn't actually do, but he would in a heartbeat), his kids/my kids, workplace politics (both of which we admit to not being good at), and gossip. Not too bad, but it made me sad that his attitude toward cheating on his wife was so caviler.

Of course, if I had a crack a Naveen Andrews, I'm not sure how hesitant I would be. But still.

So now I am contemplating a NWRC with Junior Copy Editor (Jr. for short). But that's how I have to preface it, too: "Hi, Jr., I'm just stopping in for some NWRC because I haven't actually talked to anyone in nearly three hours. How was your weekend?"

Is that weird? Otherwise, I'm not going to talk to anyone until lunchtime.

New Kid on the Block

In addition to just having lost someone I considered a friend, not to mention an ally, at this job, I have inherited JD's product lines.

Oh, I guess I should tell you a little bit more about where I work. I don't want to mention The Company by name, because that would be stupid. Suffice to say it's a Big Company -- publicly traded, $1-billion-a-year, international workforce of about 5,000 and growing.

I work in the Media Services department. We write and design the catalog, the web site, press releases, etc. It's not a sexy job — only tech geeks and IT managers are going to get all worked up about our product line — but it is steady work, the days are busy, and the pay and benefits are very good. I took this job because freelancing had dried up, benefits at my husband's employer are crazy expensive (more expensive than COBRA, yo), and I was going nuts staying at home with my two adorable, sweet children. I just didn't do well as a SAHM — I felt too one-dimensional.

I started here in February, and it is now the end of July. That makes about six months on the job.

Also, my job? It's not necessarily a difficult job. There is a lot to learn — about the products, which are very technical in nature; about the workflow; about the people with whom I work. But I am a very good writer, I'm smart, and I learn fast. My worst area is probably people — let's call it "interpersonal interaction". I'm not a very sensitive person. I'm not good at the work place politics, and workplaces always have politics. More on that later.

The policy when there is a new writer or designer hired is to pair him or her with a senior writer or designer for a year. The Senior Writer, as you would expect, shows the New Kid the ropes, the flow, the programs, etc. The Senior Writer, in my case a she, supervises progress, critiques the work, gives guidance. It's not an oppressive set-up (or hasn't been to this point) -- SW has given me a lot of freedom to learn, and she only steps in when I need guidance. It has not been often, to my credit (I think).

To return to the point: When JD first told me he was leaving (which he did before he had even given his notice), I asked about his lines. He said, "If I have anything to say about, you'll get them." He paused a minute. "Not that I would get that kind of say."

In the end, though, My Boss did move me onto JD's product lines — after asking me if that was okay. The only thing is, she moved Senior Writer with me onto three of the lines, and moved Busy Writer with me onto the biggest of the lines.

I'm a little bugged by this. I understand policy, but really, I can do this work. So why keep me working with other (albeit more experienced) writers?

1. It's policy. I've only been here six months. Even though My Boss has enough confidence to ask me to become the writer for these products, she's got to follow policy.
2. My Boss likes me a lot, and knows I'm talented, but doesn't think I'm ready to go it alone with these lines or with the product marketers (who really run the show).

My response has been to seize initiative. I've taken the reins. The way I see it, another writer is coming in here in the next six weeks to three months, and Senior Writer's going to have a new New Kid to guide. Busy Writer — well, his name says it all. He does a lot more than catalog and web work — he's on a lot of other projects, some of them more technical writing in nature. I'm not trotting down the hallway several times a day to ask if something is okay.

Senior Writer seems more than happy to let me go on my merry way. I think she also has the confidence in me that if I have a question or get stuck, I will go to her.

Busy Writer... I'm not sure how he'll feel. But for now, he's too busy to notice.

Here's Looking at You

I've been holding onto this idea for about six months now. "Stay-at-home mom returns to full time work in Cubicleland."

Actually, I've done more than be a SAHM over the course of my working life (after college). When I graduated, I had just been laid off from a job as editorial assistant at a weekly newspaper. That started my freelancing career -- with my salary supplemented by my full-time job as office assistant at a local university.

I've done a little of everything: freelance writer and editor, some graphic design work, full-time writer, work-at-home mom, stay-at-home mom. Since February, I've been working full-time again, as a copy writer.

When I started here, I reconnected with a man I knew more than 10 years ago. It was a relief to know someone (albeit not well -- we were acquaintances "back in the day", nothing more) at my new job. At the very least, I had someone to eat lunch with, you know?

JD and I were very sympatico -- the same things made us laugh or groan or drove us crazy, for example. We shared the taste for strong coffee (hence downstairs coffee). Also, sometimes, JD was like my husband, which was weird (I don't mean in a physical way). They had parallel ideas, especially about home improvement products and tool care.

In short, he was fun to work with. We were definitely a mutual admiration society. Also, based on some of the looks we got walking around the campus, people thought a little more than a professional relationship was going on, but I assure you, there was nothing of that sort happening.

Yesterday was his last day. He is going to pursue an opportunity (a great opportunity) in another field.

I figured it was time to start this here weblog. Because who else am I going to vent to?

This one's for you, JD.